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Not Exactly the
Brady Bunch: A Book Review
By Elizabeth Kaeton "Here's a story, of a lovely family, who were busy raising three kids of their own."
That's not exactly the "Brady Bunch" pictured on the jacket photo, but Jon and Michael Galluccio, together with their three children, Adam, Madison and Rosa, are the new millennium messengers of that 70's television program: "love makes a family." In the process, they were also responsible, in 1997, for changing the adoption laws in the state of New Jersey - for gay, lesbian, bisexual and straight people.
The Galluccio family is so normal that their story might not even be worthy of print - except, of course, for the wee small fact that they are so extraordinary. Michael and Jon were fraternity brothers in college when they met and fell in love. For more than a decade, they lived a FABULOUS lifestyle, marked by style, travel and spontaneity. In the midst of this opulence, however, they made the startling discovery that they would sacrifice it all for the simple joy of being a family and having their own children.
Little did they know what sacrifices they would be called to make.
Together, Jon and Michael brought foster son Adam, a child born HIV-positive and addicted to heroin, cocaine, marijuana and alcohol, into their family near the end of 1996. Jon became a "stay at home dad," working sometimes around the clock to nurse Adam back to health. Michael decided to leave the job he loved but required him to travel around the country in order to take a position which would allow him to be closer to home.
In the midst of all of these sacrifices, Jon and Michael fell in love - with each other, all over again - but also with this tiny, dependent, "medically fragile" child whom they began to call "son." They also discovered that, when you open your heart to love, a strange thing happens. More love pours in. And, it breaks your heart in the most painful and joyful of ways.
Soon, their lives were enriched by Andrew, a desperately ill HIV-positive child whom they nursed back to health - only to have him returned to his maternal grandmother who wanted custody. On the very day Andrew was to leave, in the midst of a conference with lawyers about the increasing reality that their beloved son Adam might be taken from them at any time by the state, the call came from the state which brought daughter Madison into their lives - an HIV-positive infant born to her heroin addict mother.
The addition of Madison to the family opened Michael and Jon's hearts to her half-sister, Rosa, then a teenager who had spent most of her life in foster care and group homes. All of this led Jon, himself an adopted child, on the successful quest to find his birth mother and father. And, it led Michael to finally confront his family about his full acceptance as their gay son.
This book is a story of hope born of pain and struggle. It is the stuff of the stories in sacred scripture. It is the story of betrayal and trial, acceptance and endurance. It is the story of faith which defies simplistic definition and love which knows no boundaries and endures forever.
It is the story of two Davids taking on the twin Goliaths of the State of New Jersey and the Religious Right; of a Ruth accepting her mother-in-law Naomi's family identity; of the constellation of different people from various lineages living together in the same household which may be anathema to the rugged individualism of American culture, but is the norm of biblical standards.
Mostly, it is a story which warms the heart and demonstrates that the American family is not only alive and well, it is strongly committed to the core values which have marked us from the beginning: commitment, fidelity, honesty, equality, care, struggle, hope, love, risk and dreams.
Read this book. It's not exactly the Brady Bunch, but everyone who reads it will come away reassured of the same ancient truth - A family is made of love.
NB: Madison and Adam are now HIV negative and thriving. Michael and Jon live in Paterson, New Jersey and are members of the Episcopal Diocese of Newark, to whom, in part, they dedicate this book.
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